God warped my Sunday schedule a little bit -- missed my Sunday afternoon nap, canceled Bible study with the high schoolers, and skipped church at Sevier Heights... so I could attend service at a small church in Elk Valley, TN.
This small, rural valley about an hour north of Knoxville is the location of our high schoolers' recent mission trip. New Canaan church is a small, one room, white church building with a bell that the pastor rings to let the community know it's time to gather in the Lord's house and worship together. The congregation consisted of maybe thirty people. The pastor played the piano, his son the electric guitar, while the choir stood at the front on-stage and led the members and visitors in numbered hymns from books kept in the backs of the pews.
The altar stood front and center of the aisle, prepared for elbows, fists, and tears.
I listened to "amen's" and grunts of agreement, watched hands raised, and an older gentleman stand and clap solo.
The worship was so moving and the congregation continued to throw out requests to be played. We sang for an hour and a half, led by the Spirit, and the preacher didn't even give a sermon.
It was wonderful to participate in a service that flowed so freely, without structure or bounds. And the simple, country way worship was led in this austere sanctuary took me back to a small church in Finger, TN where I was saved, and reminded me of the excitement, depth, and meaning of my first love.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Break my heart for what breaks Yours...
I'm officially the worst blogger ever. Here's my June post I guess haha....
Having trouble getting focused. The stress of working with so many broken families is weighing heavily on me this week in particular for some reason. The bruises on a young child's arms brought me down to tears this week, and I protested why the world must be so evil.
But I know my God has His merciful hand on us all. How undeserving are we, and yet how blessed that He offers us grace to cover our hideous sins!
I accept it, Lord, because I know that I need it as much as every murderer, adulterer, and thief that ever lived!
In my grief this week, I remembered my friend overseas who is combating sex trafficking, and in all my hurt, I knew his angst must be ten thousand times worse, battling the evils of lust and his own righteous anger from day to day. My prayers go out to you, my friend, if I can understand even a portion of the pain you must suffer and battle not to become accustomed to each day. God's strength for you, because I know it is the only strength that will do.
You think you know what hurt and brokenness is in the world... until you visit it daily at your back door. Until you develop a relationship with the people and know their thoughts and their responses -- and why they think and react that way.
Can you imagine trying to change that without presenting them boldly with the only real reason to change their lives and be different???
Neither can I.
That's why I pray for the Spirit to fill me in each session, in each conversation, in order that God may be manifest through me, and that He will be glorified in what I present.
As I said, I am struggling this week with maintaining that focus.
Refreshing lyrics from the song Hosanna are my prayer as I write this. Please pray for my friend overseas as well, and the women he is working to free. And also for the child with bruises.
Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks yours.
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause.
Having trouble getting focused. The stress of working with so many broken families is weighing heavily on me this week in particular for some reason. The bruises on a young child's arms brought me down to tears this week, and I protested why the world must be so evil.
But I know my God has His merciful hand on us all. How undeserving are we, and yet how blessed that He offers us grace to cover our hideous sins!
I accept it, Lord, because I know that I need it as much as every murderer, adulterer, and thief that ever lived!
In my grief this week, I remembered my friend overseas who is combating sex trafficking, and in all my hurt, I knew his angst must be ten thousand times worse, battling the evils of lust and his own righteous anger from day to day. My prayers go out to you, my friend, if I can understand even a portion of the pain you must suffer and battle not to become accustomed to each day. God's strength for you, because I know it is the only strength that will do.
You think you know what hurt and brokenness is in the world... until you visit it daily at your back door. Until you develop a relationship with the people and know their thoughts and their responses -- and why they think and react that way.
Can you imagine trying to change that without presenting them boldly with the only real reason to change their lives and be different???
Neither can I.
That's why I pray for the Spirit to fill me in each session, in each conversation, in order that God may be manifest through me, and that He will be glorified in what I present.
As I said, I am struggling this week with maintaining that focus.
Refreshing lyrics from the song Hosanna are my prayer as I write this. Please pray for my friend overseas as well, and the women he is working to free. And also for the child with bruises.
Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like you have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks yours.
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause.
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