Yesterday marked a pretty significant event in my early time here at Southeastern. I know what you're thinking, and it's not the beach, even though that was a pretty awesome trip!
The 2012 Deployment Brunch for 2+2 students. You read me correctly, 2+2. Under wise counsel, I made the decision to begin my studies under the degree category otherwise known as M.Div for International Church Planting while remaining in a state of indecision between that and the MA Intercultural Studies. Soooo now you're caught up, back to brunch. This was a meeting to inform us of the requirements and details of the program, let me summarize it for some of you: 60 hours of credit on campus in 2 years, the remainder of credit hours in a 2 year deployment overseas (essentially the Journeyman program).
After the meeting, not only was I undecided, I was overcome with fear... and questions... primarily how?
How can I obtain a 60 credit hour degree in 2 years? How can I afford to do so financially? How can I go overseas alone? ...Just a few, but the most unsettling, to say the least. And you get the idea.
As I stood in the church service this morning repeating the worship lyrics, "I trust in You; I trust in You," I had to question, do I really believe, Lord, that you are my portion? Do I really believe Jesus is more than enough for me? And all that I need?
I had to bow my head and repent from this fear that grips my heart when I think of the road upon which God has placed my feet. In my spirit of fear, I did not trust my Sovereign King, and I needed to be reminded that He has not given me a spirit of fear, but one of power, of love, and a sound mind.
Will I fear again? Absolutely. It's my nature to sin. I hate it. Jesus hates it more than I do. But His grace and mercy are so incredibly overwhelming and His Spirit is ever-empowering as I learn my sin and practice walking with Him.
God's provision has been endless as I've made my steps onto the campus at Southeastern. God has allowed me to make this physical journey with a friend, a continual blessing and comfort. He has permitted me a job working in childcare, humbling that He will select me to show love to His little ones. And He has connected Clark and I with a couple of friends with whom we can continue the search for a church home, which I'm certain is not far in the future.
I'm looking forward to visiting home in the next week to share encouragement and love with my Knoxville family. Your consistent prayers are evident both in sight and in spirit in my life and you cannot begin to imagine my gratitude to you for continuing walking in ministry with me even 300+ miles away :-)
And yes I'm 2 and a half hours away from the beach ;-)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
I Survived Da Imu!*
Well I survived one week of seminary!!! Let's have a recap :-)
So far this week I have managed to.....
Discover Wake Forest, Raleigh, Durham, AND Chapel Hill. Complete student orientation. Register for classes. Re-register and change almost my entire schedule the following day. Go for a bike ride alone while talking on the phone (love you Kari :) ). Attend one day of classes. Bash myself in the back of the head with my books while exiting a bathroom stall. Lose at CatchPhrase on game night. Cook one dinner. Eat numerous bologna sandwiches. Find a park for bike riding. Meet all male friends and one female. Get invited to a stranger's birthday party. Discover Clark's roommate is the male version of my good friend Rachel (love you too ;) ). Grow accustomed to a new roommate. Stay up late every night and sleep in every day (I had good intentions). Have a run-in with the maintenance man (few are privy to details). Job hunt endlessly online and to no avail. Lock myself out of my apartment with no shoes, make-up, cell phone or any other personal belonging. Party at open mic night on a Sonic patio. And lastly almost attend a "teen night" function at a shady building akin to a church.
All in all, I think I'm adjusting pretty well... wouldn't you say? I mean, up to all the familiar antics and whatnot. If you want to hear details, you'll just have to ask me. Full versions of stories (mine anyways) are far too long for blogging.
While I can always have lots of good laughs at myself (if you can't laugh at you, who can ya laugh at?), I have to admit I've moved rather unwillingly into that quiet stage that I do when I first begin anything. For those of you who've never seen this side of me and wonder to what I'm referring, you can ask Meggan or maybe even Rachel. There's this side of me that thinks she has to observe and soak in everything in this stifling state of quietude, and I really hate it about myself. But I know I'll get comfortable enough eventually to open up and then I'll feel like "me" again. Don't worry Wake Forest, I'll bring out the cheese soon enough!!
And positively, I've been on time to everything so far!! (I'd tell you the truth and say I've actually been early to things, but I know you won't believe me). And I'm teaching myself (and trying really hard) to maintain some sort of organized chaos with my books and notes and endless checklists!
*in case you were wondering, or for those who just want to get culturally stretched, an imu is an underground oven used to roast pigs at Hawaiian luaus. Basically, a hot pit of coals. Yeah, you may have seen those guys in grass skirts walk across them. Get the reference? :)
So far this week I have managed to.....
Discover Wake Forest, Raleigh, Durham, AND Chapel Hill. Complete student orientation. Register for classes. Re-register and change almost my entire schedule the following day. Go for a bike ride alone while talking on the phone (love you Kari :) ). Attend one day of classes. Bash myself in the back of the head with my books while exiting a bathroom stall. Lose at CatchPhrase on game night. Cook one dinner. Eat numerous bologna sandwiches. Find a park for bike riding. Meet all male friends and one female. Get invited to a stranger's birthday party. Discover Clark's roommate is the male version of my good friend Rachel (love you too ;) ). Grow accustomed to a new roommate. Stay up late every night and sleep in every day (I had good intentions). Have a run-in with the maintenance man (few are privy to details). Job hunt endlessly online and to no avail. Lock myself out of my apartment with no shoes, make-up, cell phone or any other personal belonging. Party at open mic night on a Sonic patio. And lastly almost attend a "teen night" function at a shady building akin to a church.
All in all, I think I'm adjusting pretty well... wouldn't you say? I mean, up to all the familiar antics and whatnot. If you want to hear details, you'll just have to ask me. Full versions of stories (mine anyways) are far too long for blogging.
While I can always have lots of good laughs at myself (if you can't laugh at you, who can ya laugh at?), I have to admit I've moved rather unwillingly into that quiet stage that I do when I first begin anything. For those of you who've never seen this side of me and wonder to what I'm referring, you can ask Meggan or maybe even Rachel. There's this side of me that thinks she has to observe and soak in everything in this stifling state of quietude, and I really hate it about myself. But I know I'll get comfortable enough eventually to open up and then I'll feel like "me" again. Don't worry Wake Forest, I'll bring out the cheese soon enough!!
And positively, I've been on time to everything so far!! (I'd tell you the truth and say I've actually been early to things, but I know you won't believe me). And I'm teaching myself (and trying really hard) to maintain some sort of organized chaos with my books and notes and endless checklists!
*in case you were wondering, or for those who just want to get culturally stretched, an imu is an underground oven used to roast pigs at Hawaiian luaus. Basically, a hot pit of coals. Yeah, you may have seen those guys in grass skirts walk across them. Get the reference? :)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The beginning of the beginning
"A person's soul is in grave danger when the knowledge of doctrine surpasses Jesus, avoiding intimate touch with Him." -- Oswald Chambers
I want to share part of my quiet time with you, so that you'll know how you can pray for me, if you find the Spirit leads you to think of me in your quiet time of worship with the Lord. I won't be too bold by assuming that you're going to be thinking of me in your most intimate time with God, but I do covet your thoughts and prayers because I know I'll be requiring much intercession in the coming days, weeks, months.... and semesters, if you will :)
John 20:
11but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.
13They asked her, "Woman, why are you crying?"
"They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I don't know where they have put him." 14At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
15"Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."
Sometimes I can relate to Mary, sitting there, a big emotional mess, and wondering where Jesus is. I wonder how often it is that I, like Mary, am looking for the wrong thing. Some other god or idol, something dead and in a tomb. The problem is I forget who Jesus is -- what He looks like, sounds like, how He acts -- when I'm away from Him for too long. What I need in my life is a consistent reminder of the character of my Lord. If I don't spend time with Jesus, I'll too mistake him for a gardener!
Poor Mary, she obviously didn't know the difference between a trowel and a hammer.
But then, there are times when I think Jesus looks a lot like... well, Morgan. :(
16Jesus said to her, "Mary."
She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).
17Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' "
18Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!" And she told them that he had said these things to her.
I don't want to only recognize Jesus when He calls me by name. He shouldn't have to use my middle name, "Morgan Brooke!" to get my attention like a mother scolding a misbehaving child. I long to recognize the presence of my Lord and to remember His character as the resurrected, living One who saves me from Hell and gives me the will and the ability to live today for His glory. I should know Him in a way that fires me up to run and tell my brothers, "I have seen the Lord!"
Tomorrow starts the first day of classes, and as I've been warned, I'll need to remember that maintenance of a personal relationship with Jesus remains essential. The Bible cannot become my textbook. Jesus is not merely my subject of study.
So again, I covet your prayers of fortitude as I launch into this journey as a first-year student of Southeastern Seminary.
I want to share part of my quiet time with you, so that you'll know how you can pray for me, if you find the Spirit leads you to think of me in your quiet time of worship with the Lord. I won't be too bold by assuming that you're going to be thinking of me in your most intimate time with God, but I do covet your thoughts and prayers because I know I'll be requiring much intercession in the coming days, weeks, months.... and semesters, if you will :)
John 20:
11but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.
13They asked her, "Woman, why are you crying?"
"They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I don't know where they have put him." 14At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
15"Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."
Sometimes I can relate to Mary, sitting there, a big emotional mess, and wondering where Jesus is. I wonder how often it is that I, like Mary, am looking for the wrong thing. Some other god or idol, something dead and in a tomb. The problem is I forget who Jesus is -- what He looks like, sounds like, how He acts -- when I'm away from Him for too long. What I need in my life is a consistent reminder of the character of my Lord. If I don't spend time with Jesus, I'll too mistake him for a gardener!
Poor Mary, she obviously didn't know the difference between a trowel and a hammer.
But then, there are times when I think Jesus looks a lot like... well, Morgan. :(
16Jesus said to her, "Mary."
She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).
17Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' "
18Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!" And she told them that he had said these things to her.
I don't want to only recognize Jesus when He calls me by name. He shouldn't have to use my middle name, "Morgan Brooke!" to get my attention like a mother scolding a misbehaving child. I long to recognize the presence of my Lord and to remember His character as the resurrected, living One who saves me from Hell and gives me the will and the ability to live today for His glory. I should know Him in a way that fires me up to run and tell my brothers, "I have seen the Lord!"
Tomorrow starts the first day of classes, and as I've been warned, I'll need to remember that maintenance of a personal relationship with Jesus remains essential. The Bible cannot become my textbook. Jesus is not merely my subject of study.
So again, I covet your prayers of fortitude as I launch into this journey as a first-year student of Southeastern Seminary.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Revamp!
It is well beyond due time for an aesthetic revamp of my physical blog! And it's only fitting, seeing as how my whole life is physically changing in the next week.
So it is again time for me to Get Up and Stand on my feet. The mission God has placed before me is to live as a servant and as a witness to the things which I have seen and those which He will show me. (Acts 26:16) And having been greatly humbled, loved, and lead, I take up my cross in surrender and follow my Lord to North Carolina... For now.
I won't bore you with too many details of which you are probably already aware, but I do want to reflect and re-reflect over the happenings of the past year and a half, motivated by reading over my initial blog entry, entitled "What's Next?"
I quite vividly remember typing up that blog entry, sitting in the floor of my new apartment (Emily, Kari and I didn't even have furniture yet), wondering confusedly, yet patiently, what was in store for me.
How humbling it is now to be able to stand and look back at what I've learned:
Over the past year and a half, my eyes have been opened so much to the brokenness of the world -- the detriment of sin, the price it requires, and the generational payment of its debt. I can't say it hasn't aged me. But I can say that it has humbled me and increased my understanding of the need for grace, as well as the necessity of increasing man's knowledge and attainment of grace. Nothing in this broken world functions without it.
On a lighter note, I can also say that I have personally experienced in more fullness the magnitude of God's faithfulness, and as juvenile as it may sound, learned that I can trust Him. Simply put. It's so beautiful to say and to know it in truth.
And how exciting to be able to step forward into where I'm going:
For the past several months I've been preparing to move to North Carolina to attend Southeastern Seminary to pursue a career in short term missions, which I believe is God's call to my life.
God is leading me with a peace that transcends all understanding to begin this new adventure. I wish I could put into words for you how confident I feel taking this next step. I don't mean to say that I know exactly where I'll go from there or what I'll do, but God has given me the wisdom to know obedience is momentary, and His vision is far broader than mine. So I'll take this step in obedience and pray for more wisdom and guidance as I pursue my education and career at seminary.
Of course I have fears, misgivings, and even tears at leaving what has been my home for the past 6 years. I'll miss my friends and my church family more than I can even comprehend at this point, and being 11 hours from my family won't make visits easy.
Do I feel prepared to attend class with scholars and students filled with far more Godly wisdom and knowledge than I've ever dreamed of having? No.
Do I feel capable of walking in the steps of the path God has laid out before me? Not at all.
Do I know I can do anything with the power of the Spirit which raised Christ from the dead?! Right now I do. Haha, I mean let's be transparent here. I'll forget that a few times before I remember it again. But I do know that God's provision this far in my life foreshadows His continual presence through the remainder of it, and gives proof to the promises that He will fulfill His good work in me.
By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain . . . —1 Corinthians 15:10
So I'm not worried! I have confidence in Christ's sovereignty. I have capability in the Spirit who lives in me. And I have encouragement in fellowship with my "partners in ministry" (that's a fancy way of saying, YOU!).
For the past several months I've been preparing to move to North Carolina to attend Southeastern Seminary to pursue a career in short term missions, which I believe is God's call to my life.
God is leading me with a peace that transcends all understanding to begin this new adventure. I wish I could put into words for you how confident I feel taking this next step. I don't mean to say that I know exactly where I'll go from there or what I'll do, but God has given me the wisdom to know obedience is momentary, and His vision is far broader than mine. So I'll take this step in obedience and pray for more wisdom and guidance as I pursue my education and career at seminary.
Of course I have fears, misgivings, and even tears at leaving what has been my home for the past 6 years. I'll miss my friends and my church family more than I can even comprehend at this point, and being 11 hours from my family won't make visits easy.
Do I feel prepared to attend class with scholars and students filled with far more Godly wisdom and knowledge than I've ever dreamed of having? No.
Do I feel capable of walking in the steps of the path God has laid out before me? Not at all.
Do I know I can do anything with the power of the Spirit which raised Christ from the dead?! Right now I do. Haha, I mean let's be transparent here. I'll forget that a few times before I remember it again. But I do know that God's provision this far in my life foreshadows His continual presence through the remainder of it, and gives proof to the promises that He will fulfill His good work in me.
By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain . . . —1 Corinthians 15:10
So I'm not worried! I have confidence in Christ's sovereignty. I have capability in the Spirit who lives in me. And I have encouragement in fellowship with my "partners in ministry" (that's a fancy way of saying, YOU!).
So it is again time for me to Get Up and Stand on my feet. The mission God has placed before me is to live as a servant and as a witness to the things which I have seen and those which He will show me. (Acts 26:16) And having been greatly humbled, loved, and lead, I take up my cross in surrender and follow my Lord to North Carolina... For now.
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